To whoever needs this,
I know what you’re thinking… “Is he seriously writing about his OWN mixtape?” Yes, but hear me out. This past week I’ve been looking at a calendar every single day and saying to myself, “Holy s**t it’s been a year since I dropped ‘A Faceless Name.” I’m not usually one to be too confident in the things I post, create, or accomplish, simply because I always look at it as a chance to grow, and make the next thing better.
I know what you’re thinking… “Is he seriously writing about his OWN mixtape?” Yes, but hear me out. This past week I’ve been looking at a calendar every single day and saying to myself, “Holy s**t it’s been a year since I dropped ‘A Faceless Name.” I’m not usually one to be too confident in the things I post, create, or accomplish, simply because I always look at it as a chance to grow, and make the next thing better.
A year ago today (September 1st, 2015), I released my second mixtape titled “A Faceless Name.” I created a story I felt was unique, and a story that I felt people could finally kick back and say, “wow, that’s the real T- Millzz,” and “wow, I actually understand what he’s talking about here.” Here we are, one year later, and I still feel that way.
With my first mixtape, “Hands Up, Head Up,” there was clearly a lot of work that needed to be improved upon; from my rhyme schemes, to beat selections, to overall sound quality. I had no clue what I was doing and that is okay to me. Why? Because I gave it my all the second time around. Sure, some things can be a bit better. Sure, I feel like I did minor things differently, but for the most part, I was happy listening to it the other day. I’m glad I told small stories that people could get to say, “whoa… that happened?” Yes… ALL OF IT HAPPENED.
Creating music is hard, especially for someone like myself who has a hard time expressing through regular verbal communication, or having discussion because I like to avoid confrontation. I know a lot of people who think this way as well. I usually suppress my emotions until I am in my own mind and can react to situations. Music has been an outlet for me, as I’m sure it is for many of you, for about 7 years now. Originally it started off as me just having fun, messing around and things of the sort until I went to college and realized it was a whole new environment.
My friends had gone to different schools, I tended to be a bit of an introvert and I had to make an adjustment to become more outgoing; Something I didn’t fully make a transition to until the middle of college. Before I knew it I was walking down the line at graduation with the Dean’s saying my name with that insufferable emphasis on the “ay” in “Taylor.”
All through college, my “important list,” went something like this:
Long story short, I found myself putting music above a lot of other things by the end of college and pushing back things maybe I ought to have been focusing on. What I felt was something that cannot be touched to this day. In particular, the song “Someone Like You,” was a song I wrote in order to help get myself out of a pretty low place.
This story took two years to manifest itself. Why did it take so long? Because each song was written at a crucial point in those two years. What you hear on “A Faceless Name,” is legitimately a trip from the emotions I felt after I released, “Hands Up, Head Up,” all the way until the end of mixing on “A Faceless Name.” Not one gap was missed.
For the hell of it, on my long drive home from work the other day, I put on “A Faceless Name” in my new car. I listened to it again exactly one year later… just once. I told myself after it was over, “I don’t know if I can top these emotions on a project ever again.” I vividly remember what class I was in during college when I finished “What’s Going On,” (Economic Geography btw.) I remember the emotion I felt after finishing last in audience voting in my college’s annual talent show even though I was the only original act and then writing “Your Year.” The stories bring back the vivid memories that I cherish, learned from and also grew upon.
The point is, that everything I experienced was something that I found could finally be expressed through music, without hurting anyone but my former self. My former self couldn’t bear to hear those thoughts… My former self couldn’t think the way I do now. I’ve become much more outgoing, almost an extroverted-introvert. Everything I have done, I have done with so much more confidence. In part, because I needed to grow up, much like all of us do. We need to learn as we go just as much as we need guidance to learn. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the course of this past year that I have had “A Faceless Name” out, it’s that:
There can never be something “too close,” to your heart. There can never be a physical embodiment more powerful than your brain creating something for yourself to be proud of. At the end of the day, I don’t care if it was “perfect,” or “horrible,” or “needed fine tuning.” Why? Because the only person I do this for at the end of the day is myself.
If you’re curious enough after reading this to listen to the mixtape, feel free to check it out at:
www.soundcloud.com/atebosses
Found under the “A Faceless Name” playlist… Be sure to listen from start to finish, because I can guarantee that you yourself have felt at least one of those emotions as well.
With my first mixtape, “Hands Up, Head Up,” there was clearly a lot of work that needed to be improved upon; from my rhyme schemes, to beat selections, to overall sound quality. I had no clue what I was doing and that is okay to me. Why? Because I gave it my all the second time around. Sure, some things can be a bit better. Sure, I feel like I did minor things differently, but for the most part, I was happy listening to it the other day. I’m glad I told small stories that people could get to say, “whoa… that happened?” Yes… ALL OF IT HAPPENED.
Creating music is hard, especially for someone like myself who has a hard time expressing through regular verbal communication, or having discussion because I like to avoid confrontation. I know a lot of people who think this way as well. I usually suppress my emotions until I am in my own mind and can react to situations. Music has been an outlet for me, as I’m sure it is for many of you, for about 7 years now. Originally it started off as me just having fun, messing around and things of the sort until I went to college and realized it was a whole new environment.
My friends had gone to different schools, I tended to be a bit of an introvert and I had to make an adjustment to become more outgoing; Something I didn’t fully make a transition to until the middle of college. Before I knew it I was walking down the line at graduation with the Dean’s saying my name with that insufferable emphasis on the “ay” in “Taylor.”
All through college, my “important list,” went something like this:
- School
- Job
- Family
- Music
- Myself
Long story short, I found myself putting music above a lot of other things by the end of college and pushing back things maybe I ought to have been focusing on. What I felt was something that cannot be touched to this day. In particular, the song “Someone Like You,” was a song I wrote in order to help get myself out of a pretty low place.
This story took two years to manifest itself. Why did it take so long? Because each song was written at a crucial point in those two years. What you hear on “A Faceless Name,” is legitimately a trip from the emotions I felt after I released, “Hands Up, Head Up,” all the way until the end of mixing on “A Faceless Name.” Not one gap was missed.
For the hell of it, on my long drive home from work the other day, I put on “A Faceless Name” in my new car. I listened to it again exactly one year later… just once. I told myself after it was over, “I don’t know if I can top these emotions on a project ever again.” I vividly remember what class I was in during college when I finished “What’s Going On,” (Economic Geography btw.) I remember the emotion I felt after finishing last in audience voting in my college’s annual talent show even though I was the only original act and then writing “Your Year.” The stories bring back the vivid memories that I cherish, learned from and also grew upon.
The point is, that everything I experienced was something that I found could finally be expressed through music, without hurting anyone but my former self. My former self couldn’t bear to hear those thoughts… My former self couldn’t think the way I do now. I’ve become much more outgoing, almost an extroverted-introvert. Everything I have done, I have done with so much more confidence. In part, because I needed to grow up, much like all of us do. We need to learn as we go just as much as we need guidance to learn. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the course of this past year that I have had “A Faceless Name” out, it’s that:
There can never be something “too close,” to your heart. There can never be a physical embodiment more powerful than your brain creating something for yourself to be proud of. At the end of the day, I don’t care if it was “perfect,” or “horrible,” or “needed fine tuning.” Why? Because the only person I do this for at the end of the day is myself.
If you’re curious enough after reading this to listen to the mixtape, feel free to check it out at:
www.soundcloud.com/atebosses
Found under the “A Faceless Name” playlist… Be sure to listen from start to finish, because I can guarantee that you yourself have felt at least one of those emotions as well.